The 5 Biggest Mistakes Most People Unwittingly Make When Suffering From Low Self-Esteem And How You Can Avoid Them

As you read through these 5 BIG MISTAKES and the solutions to the problems they create – you’ll immediately be in a position to enjoy more opportunities, with more confidence, more often.

In fact:

It is the lack of knowledge of these mistakes that is costing you all the fun and excitement that is available to you in your life, you only get one life and the last thing you want at the end is to look back with regret and say “I wish I had the confidence to have done that:

Ok then – onto those 5 big mistakes, no let’s get started…

Mistake 1: You do not believe what you are talking about

FACT: People like people who are certain

If you do not believe what you are talking about, people will pick up on it. This will do massive damage to your reputation as a valid source of information.

If people think you are speaking complete bullshit you will get found out and called on it.

Maybe your tone won’t sound right or maybe you will display a small tick or hand gesture that shows you are lying.

Whatever you say, you must believe 100% in it and be prepared to back it to the hilt.

Whatever view you make, or fact you claim, make sure you can step up and speak out that you believe it is 100% true.

For example:

Remember Bill Clinton’s famous words, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. He was the President of the United Stats of America. He was the top authority figure, how could he possibly be lying?

WRONG!

The famous finger gesture of pointing gave Bill’s game away. People picked up straight away that he was lying?

So what should you do to avoid this mistake?

Pick one area your life you want to be seen as confident in by others. Fill in the blank at the end of this sentence and with the full belief that this is 100% true:

“I am confident at ……….”

Mistake 2: You do not demonstrate any personal experience

FACT: People love reasons

It is one thing to stand up and say something as if you believe it is 100% true, it is another to defend your position.

I am going to share a big key point with you here, “You cannot please all the people all of the time”. You will be challenged. You will be heckled. Here you can either crumble or stand up and be the expert you heard about in mistake 1.

You must be able to reference personal experience that clearly allows you to demonstrate where you have displayed the attribute desired in your life.

For example:

Do you remember the story of Tracie Andrews. After months of saying her boyfriend was murdered during a road rage incident, her story was soon rumbled as not being true. She instead got a life sentence for murdering Lee Harvey in 1996. Her story did not come across as believable as it was not based on a personal experience.

WRONG!

So what should you do to avoid this mistake?

Now you need to build on your last sentence. You have the first part of you sentence “I am confident at….” and now you need to put a reason to back up your claim. I want you to add a reason from your own personal experience that supports the first part of the sentence.

Ready?

“I am confident at ……………………because…………………………”

Remember to keep to the point of why this is a valid reason for you being confident in this area.

Mistake 3: You do not put across you unique personality

FACT: People love to follow role models

You are looking to establish yourself as the expert in your area of confidence. The mistake most people make here is they go and look at someone who is already the expert in this field and copy them. They copy the type of words they use. They copy how they sound. They copy how they look and move.

People will spot this is the same all rehashed views they have heard elsewhere. People want to follow the next big thing. They want to make you their new role model but to do this you must

For example:

How many people copied David Beckham every time he changed his hair? How many men started wearing a sarong when Mr Beckham made it acceptable wear one? It is no wonder Gillette were happy to pay him millions of pounds to be the face of shaving products

WRONG!

Whilst David Beckham has deserved his status for his skills as footballer, how many of your friends were ridiculed with the Beckham haircuts of taunts of “bloke in a dress” when they decided wearing a sarong in the UK was acceptable

So what should you do to avoid this mistake?

It is now time to take the sentence you formed so far and add some of your unique personality to it. I want you to use words that you would typically use. I want you to say the sentence out loud with 100% conviction. I want you to use gestures that are you.

People want you to be their role model, what do you look, sound and feel like?

Mistake 4: You try to impress the wrong people

FACT: People like people like themselves

The worst thing to ever experience is talking or trying to be something in an environment where no one is interested in what you have to say. They most likely don’t really care either.

Even worse is if you continue pushing something to people who do not care as they will get even more irritated. This makes you a target or ridicule as well as closing doors on opportunities.

This is a massive downside to you. You end up playing a game with people who do not want to play your game. It is of no interest to them.

At the same time you are stopping yourself having the fun you want to have. You just make yourself frustrated.

For example:

Timmy Mallet entered as a late arrival into the UK version of “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here” one season. Timmy made a successful career out of his child like humour. Fair play to him if that is what he wants and I’m sure he has a following who appreciate his wacky sense of humour.

WRONG!

Deep in the Australia jungle when deprived of sleep, a good meal and life’s normal luxuries, his fellow celebrities did not appreciate Mr Mallets game and he soon found himself on the outside of the group with fellow Irritator David Van-Day.

So what should you do to avoid this mistake?

A lot of my family and friends thought I was mad when I quit my well paid job to set up my own business. If I had listened to them I would most likely being signed off work with stress with thoughts of a depressing future ahead of me.

Whilst taking on board valid concerns from these people, I also went and found new friends and peers who did understand where I was coming from. People who wanted to hear my stories and people whose stories I want to hear.

You must find people who are interested in what you have to say or want to do.

List three places you can go and spend time with these people, then go and do it!

1.

2.

3.

Mistake 5: You do not tell people what to do next

FACT: People love following simple instructions

You have your message. You have your story. You have your unique personality sorted. You have people who want to hear from you. But then what? This is possibly the biggest mistake of all that you can make.

You don’t tell anyone what to do next!

If you have avoided the previous mistakes as discussed in this report correctly, you should be now seen as an authority in your area.

If you are the authority, people will follow whatever you recommend. It means they do not have to make a decision for themselves. You recommending something is enough reason to justify following your suggestion.

But, if you do not give them a next step to follow, your group will just wander around aimlessly until someone else comes along to follow who does tell them what to do next. People do not like making decisions so someone telling them what to do, who is an authority, is an easy solution.

For example:

To show just how powerful this point is, I will use a horrific example of when someone managed to avoid the first four mistakes described in this report. Jim Jones established himself as the expert and did give a call to action. This call to action led to hundreds of people willingly committing suicide on the say so of their “leader”.

WRONG!

So what should you do to avoid this mistake?

This is what you should do!

Design what is your call to action. What do you want the person or people you are interacting with to do next?

  • Do you want to give them more information?
  • Do you want to ask someone out on a date?
  • Do you want someone to buy something from you?
  • Do you want an answer to a specific question?

What do you want the person, or people you are talking to, to do next?

And what do I want you do next? Well that depends on what you want to do!

If you want to give me feedback, then please feel free to leave a comment

If you do not want to do anything right now then enjoy my summary coming up next and hopefully I will hear from you in the future!

In Summary

You now know what the five biggest mistakes are that people unwittingly when suffering from low self-esteem, and how to avoid falling into these traps.

I would love to hear any feedback you may have after ready this blog post so please do feel free to contact me.

I wish you every continued success in building your self-confidence with ease – having fun along the way, living the life you actually want to live.

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